Funny things the kids say

I really should be much better about writing down all the funny things the kids say. Whenever I find an old scribbled note with a quote from one of the kids from long ago it really makes my day. My husband likes to say I have “swiss cheese brain” (I call it pregnant brain) so I am sure there are many, many funny things I will never again remember.

Solomon asked me last week what ingredients were in birth control pills.
Me: Hormones
S: What, so they kill people to get the hormones??!?
Me: No! They make artificial hormones in a laboratory. It’s kind of like real sugar made out of a sugar cane, and artificial sugar made in a lab.
He thought for a minute, and then said: “Oh, so it’s kind of like a wig!” I didn’t understand what he meant for a second, but then I saw his point and couldn’t stop laughing. True, true – although I’d rather wear a wig than be on those pills.

As I sat down at the computer tonight, I found two sheets of paper that Solomon had written on top of each other on the desk. The first said: “Dare to go to the next page. See what you find.” The second one read: “I love you as much as 55,550,000.” Sweet, huh?

Isaac on the other hand always cracks me up because his brain is wired backwards. He looks at things in a way no “normal” person would. He is the type that if you showed him four pictures of a dog, a cow, a duck and a table and told him to pick out which didn’t belong, he would point to the duck. If you asked him why, he would tell you (puzzled at your ignorance) that it is the only thing that doesn’t have four legs. He is also the child who is not scared of ANYTHING, something that I find worrysome. He has been telling me for years that when he grows up, he will always be speeding in the car. I have told him that I will never let him get a license, which makes him grin, point at me with his dirty little index finger, and inform me that Daddy will let him get it. So I told him the police would arrest him, and I cannot post his response to that on here or I will get arrested for teaching my child civil disobedience. So it was no shock to me tonight when on the drive to the grocery store he suddenly got this smirk and asked me if you had to obey the speed limits on a bike. I solemnly affirmed as sternly as I could, fully well realizing that he was probably not likely to ever go 45 mp/h on a bike. What about on the sidewalk, he wanted to know. What about … Thankfully we got to the store before we could play through all different terrains and scenarios.

So yes, it’s fun. And if I didn’t have to empty the dishwasher, fill it again, switch the laundry, mop the floors, and clean up the entire house tonight I might actually have time to write down more of the funny things they all said today. But the only way to have that much spare time would be by not having kids. It’s a catch 22.